A daily dose of whiskey & eggs: Super Man has too many powers and his comics are boring and cliche...

I heard someone use the term "buck naked" the other day and I don't think that term makes sense. If I were going to use some expression to explain how naked someone is I prefer the term "butt naked". It just makes more sense.

Now that I've got that out of the way...

I've decided to write a book, it's a fiction-fantasy book. It's coming together quite well and I'm very excited about it...the only problem being I don't have a "primary conflict" which is the core of the book and drives the focus of the story...so in essence...I have noting even though I have a lot of ground work and side stories. Additionally, I have no title but I imagine upon developing the core conflict my title for the book will soon follow.

Today my friend Ben drew a picture of a hand on fire. It wasn't burning but it was more like a super power, like the hand could be burst into flame at will...like this.

Anyways this got me thinking about super powers and what I would want and how I would use it. I'll list a few that I desire:

Teleportation: The knowledge and idea of this power comes from one of my favorite "super heroes": Nightcrawler. Let me just say this would save me tons of money. I can teleport to and fro wherever I please and not to have to spend time driving and spending money on gas and such. Not to mention the humor and fun that could stem from having such an ability. I could teleport behind Obama when he is giving a speech and yell something random like: "Save the Aborigines!" and then give him a wedgie and then quickly teleport back to the microwave where I had previously been cooking oriental flavored ramen. Of course, I would wear a mask so that I couldn't be traced.
Super-agility: This is a common power which is almost attainable if you're this guy. However, I'm thinking more like the freakish athletic stuff like double-back flipping over an oncoming vehicle. What would I do with this ability? You mean apart from beating the sin out of criminals and getting loved by inferior civilians who would shower me with fame and money? Simple, I would beat every athlete in every sport at the Olympics.
De-pinking: What is this power you ask? It is the ability turn everything "pink" into a different color of my choice. Why would I want this power? Simple, pink is hideous. I hate the stupid color. The only acceptable pink is that of flesh (i.e. tongue or lips). Any other pink will be utterly destroyed by color changing ability. I could even go by the name of the "Depinker" but...now that I think about it I don't want the word pink in my hero name. I suppose I could go by "He who destroys the color of which must not be named" just because it's lengthy and kind of prestigious. Also, it demands respect because I would insist people use the full name. Not to mention it makes for a stupid and impossible acronym (HWDTCOWMNBN). So much hate.
Morphing and/or Shape-shifting: This one is awesome to me. I can be whatever I want. if I want to be a fancy watch that has tiny hammers as hands just so every hour I can beep the phrase "Hammer time!" then that's what I'll do. If I feel like being a black cat and running in front of as many people in a day as I possibly can, then I will! I would also have to morph into other people. Here comes the real fun. I could morph into LeVar Burton and bring back the show: "Reading Rainbow" and as soon as the 1st episode of the relaunch I would burst onto the scene with books children really need to read such as: The Zombie Survival Guide or If We Can Keep A Severed Head Alive... After showcase necessary literature I would then taunt various races, ethnic groups and cultures and challenge them all to some sort of contest of honor (probably jousting). Then as soon as I'm off camera I morph back into myself and watch what happens to the real LeVar Burton.